Expectations

“我想说其实你很好

你自己却不知道
真心的对我好
不要求回报。。。”

Fish Leong's songs are always so beautiful and full of meanings. Taken from the song 暖暖,the lyrics serves as a reminder to me that love is not about expecting returns, it's abt how you feel happy and blissful when ur partner is happy.

Can I achieve this? U all know lah, I'm far from it. When it comes to love, KH can be such a porcupine. Living evidence is Xia Pei Pei (who is a.k.a known as my walking diary) always using (or rather, throwing) those 'heartless words', that once came out of my evil mouth to Ba, back at me. Did I mean it? No I didn't, of cos. But I was too small to think of the big picture as usual.

Expectations lurk in our hearts, and depending on the nature of the situation, it can be a boon or bane.

At work, ur expectations of ur performance should, jolly well, be higher than what ur boss expects from u. If not, u are in for what my boss termed as 'BBQ session’. No, u are not the one BBQ-ing, u are the one BEING BBQed.

In love, lower ur expectations. For me, it's hard. Cos I always bring whatever stress and stuff from my life (be it sch or work) and dump it on him. Most of our quarrels stemmed from my high expectations of him. Perhaps the basis of support of our relationship is his almost-zero expectation of me. Not adding stress to the already stressful KH.

When it comes to friendships, u expect ur friends to help u in times of need. I am one of the lucky few who have really close friends with me. When I was wounded from work or love life, there are friends who are always there to lend a listening ear, dry my tears, 'nurse me' back to health. How many times have friends encouraged and reminded me not to give up on my relationship or my job? Perhaps w/o them, I will be so tired of my relationship and opted out by now. How many smses were sent at work, to encourage me to live on thru the bad day I was having at work?

In kinship, the lyrics of this song is esp true for me. Like what Wendy said, "the most unconditional love in the world is from ur family." Apart from Ba, my family 'suffered' the most from my grumbles abt life. Every meal is a counselling session for me. haha. Yet, they listened and advised me, without any grumbles or expectations from me, just encouraging me not to give up.

Going out with my family later! :) It has been a long time since we ate together as a family. With my work and commitments, 第's duty in SAF, Mom's working on weekends, we hardly have a chance to eat together. :)

To those who are sitting for exams these few weeks: 加油！Keep thinking tt u will be able to see me after ur papers and spur on! *grinz* Keep the mugging spirit up and Gd luck!

To those who are (or feels as if you are) sitting for exams almost every day of ur lives rite now: 加油！Remember u are not alone in the shit hole. Try not to be as cold-blooded as ur boss. N dun worry, u will see me real soon too. hahahahaha.